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I work night time shifts as a home nurse sometimes as an extra job. The person I'm taking care of has many handicaps. Brain damage blind, can't move muscles, needs help breathing in the nighttime, barely makes any sounds. All she does is pee herself and drools. I'm a nice person, I have lots of emphathy and I want everyone to feel happy and healthy. But I have a hard time being a good nurse to this person. Nothing I do would make a difference to her, you know? She's like a pile of stone with bodily fluids.

So last weekend I worked a night shift. I was so tired. Instead of hearing that terrible breathing-help machine making terrible noises which means I have to get up every 20 minutes to correct it, I turned it off and let her breathe by herself. And I went to sleep.

My boss called me today seeing the records of the breathe-machine thingy, seeing it wasn't on barely at all that night. I lied and said I don't know what's wrong. And then I told her the truth. Now I feel ashamed.

#14093
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Oct 21, 2728 03:03 PM - Work - by Bad nurse (Blog)

 

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TRIGGER WARNING

I'm almost 17, and May 19th this year was the date I was going to take my life. I had planned months in advance, and only two days before ended up telling my mum and doctors. So it isn't a secret.

My secret is, I hate myself for telling them. I wish so much that I went through with it. The only reason I didn't was because I felt so much guilt and knew my family (mother and sister) in particular would never ever find peace in their life ever again. I keep trying to work out scenarios, where i write a really detailed suicide letter, plan my own funeral so they dont have to, not allow anybody to wear black, and have lots of happy songs and photos playing while people can reminisce and enjoy memories, I don't want to hurt anybody. I just feel so at peace with myself and my life. It sounds crazy to want to kill myself because finally things are pretty stable, but I just feel like I've always known I would die by my own choice, and I would take my own life. Thx for reading.

#16051
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Oct 21, 2674 03:03 PM - Life - by hol (Blog)

 

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I feel as i'm slowly falling apart and there's no one to help me, my husband just isn't on my side. i feel like giving up. just packing up and leaving forever. never looking back, leaving my family. my husband. my depressing life i had. i just want it gone. i want the pain to be gone. am i wrong? i dont have the money. i just got my first job and im struggling with school. i want to drop out so badly.

#13865
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Jul 14, 2017 10:55 PM - Life - by Baby Doll (Blog)

 

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My boyfriend and I have been together for years, since I was a freshman in high school. We live pretty far apart and don't see each other often, and I've noticed that we don't talk to much either. After such a long time, I feel like our relationship has fallen apart because we've both grown up so much. We're in really different spots in our lives because I have a lot of big plans and he can't even plan what to have for dinner. I'm feeling really nervous because he thinks everything is fine, but I don't even really miss him anymore. I'm really conflicted because I love him, but I think I need to spread my wings, and he should too.

#13395
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Jun 22, 2017 02:05 PM - Love - by Punz (Blog)

 

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In 5 minutes I turn 30 years old. After a fight with my boyfriend, an hour ago, I realized I'm codependent. After a bit of reading it all makes sense. I feel sad that I have to distance myself, but I need to. I can't fight others battles anymore.

#13315
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Jun 11, 2017 11:33 PM - Love - by Birthday girl (Blog)

 

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I had surgery down there in the pants area and I have been bleeding from a lump that came up and every time I wear sanitary napkins it bleed and irritates the skin. I want to go to my GP and specialist about it but money is so tight and I feel embarrassed and not sure if I am welcome half the time.

#13314
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Jun 11, 2017 11:33 PM - Health - by bellyachingbitch (Blog)

 

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I have had a pen pal now for only about two weeks and I'm more madly in love with him than I've been with any man I've ever met. He doesn't know, my best friend doesn't know, my husband doesn't know either...

#14231
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May 31, 2017 11:36 AM - Love - by Ridiculous Love (Blog)

 

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I'm thinking of leaving my boyfriend because he has a kid and I'm only 22 I want to live my life. I feel horrible and I love him but I can't go on like this. I honestly tried but I can't deal with it I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm probably leaving the love of my life but I just can't

#13306
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May 31, 2017 01:01 AM - Love - by Lostlittlegirl (Blog)

 

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I haven been in love with the same guy for 6 years, even though he wont have me I still cant help my longing for him. Im happily married for almost a year and I just wish I could get him out of my head! seems like he'll never go away

#13286
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May 31, 2017 01:01 AM - Love - by dance4evagiirl (Blog)

 

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My cat had 5 kittens.
We got rid of two of them giving them to people.
But we still have three of them.
We are keeping one, so that means we only have two left well no one wanted them and my ada told me that if I didn't do something about it that I was to drown them in our pool.
So ummm I strangled them and buried them in my neighbors backyard.

#13276
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May 31, 2017 01:01 AM - Miscellaneous - by KP (Blog)

 

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