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When I was 14 (I'm now 15), I stole my mother's sewing needle and gave myself a tattoo on my left inner wrist with India ink I use for my pen-and-ink (I am an artist; I am currently working toward a minor in art). It was a small tattoo: an 's' shape with three dots. I am not allowed a tattoo until I'm 18, and I do not usually disobey my parents, but this was one time I decided that I had a good reason for disobeying. I had recently started to accept my sexuality and gender identity, and who I truly am as an introvert who spends her time with her sketchbook, fantasy novels, and music. I had just gotten over a major hurdle in my self-hatred, and I needed something to symbolize my growth should I ever fall back into my suicidal ways. I have to hide my tattoo from my family, and I have fallen back into my depression; I hate my self and I am terrified of intimacy from ANYONE, but whenever I'm on the verge of suicide I look at my tattoo and it reminds me that I am capable of loving myself.

#11650
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Dec 4, 2016 04:14 PM - Life - by Despair  (Blog)

 

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I've known that I am pansexual and genderfluid for a while (I'm 15). My best friend-who is pansexual and agender- is the only person I have told. I am biologically a female, and my parents have no clue that I am not a heterosexual girl. They are accepting of people who are a different sexuality or gender identity, as long as it is not me. They openly told me that I look gay and they are NOT okay with it. They make me wear dresses/skirts, and I'm not allowed a gender-neutral hair cut. They assume I am straight, and the thought that I am not has never seemed to have crossed their minds. I drop hints, hoping that they will pick up on it; because I am afraid that if I just straight-up come out to them, they will tell me I'm wrong or even disown me. I have struggled with self-hate, depression, and suicidal thoughts since I was 11, and this has just drug me down further. My best friend just came out publicly a month ago, and I am SO proud of her, and I love her; but I wish it was me.

#11649
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Dec 9, 2016 08:39 PM - Life - by Despair  (Blog)

 

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Hello everyone. I am a 17 year old girl having problems with making new friends. I am a really shy and passive girl. Even when I was in high school, I only had one really close friend, and I didn't really talk to others in my own class. I always wanted to make friends, but I am too shy and don't know how to get close with people. Now I have graduated, and I am moving on to a new environment of studying overseas. I tried to tell myself not to get nervous and make a new friend, and also got one friend per group. But, they also have their own friends, which they are much closer to. I have a feeling that when classes officially start, I won't be able to find someone who would eat lunch with me or someone who would talk or sit next to me. The further problem is that people tend to find people of their own countries, but I failed to befriend them, so they formed their own group without me. Studying overseas and not knowing anyone from my own country is causing me great pressure.

#11647
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Sep 29, 2016 12:16 AM - Life - by Polabair (Blog)

 

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I wanted to invite my one friend over to see my finished house but when i went to text her...
found out she had moved states away.
I didnt know she had moved.. last time we talked she mentioned moving the next year.
I just lost the last friend I have near me and I didnt even know till weeks later...
I'm a terrible friend.

#11636
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Dec 3, 2016 08:54 PM - Life - by D.B. (Blog)

 

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My best friend is dying and there's nothing I can do to help. I've tried everything and I've given him practically all my money over the past few months for his prescriptions and rent and now I've got nothing left and his condition just took a turn for the worse and I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM.

#11620
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Dec 12, 2016 12:14 AM - Life - by ScaredFriend (Blog)

 

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I'm transgender and I am completely terrified that making it public and going into treatment will fuck up my life and my relationship with my family forever. I fear that it won't work properly, that in the end it will be completely obvious to everyone who see me what I tried to do and who I 'really' am. Sex and relationships have always been a chore for me, I have never been in love with the girlfriends I've had. Sex is something I've had to focus on doing, dreaded because even a small slip for me would lose me my erection and ruin the whole thing. I haven't been with anyone in four years by now, and the thought of doing so gives me anxiety attacks. I can't imagine sex as something you want to do with someone else, only as a chore sheathed in lies lest the other partner finds out about you. But I still have my sex drive, so I just sit at home while my life slowly goes by.

#11617
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Dec 12, 2016 12:14 AM - Life - by e4y4 (Blog)

 

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I will never move into a house. I will never have a baby. I will die first. I have reached that pivotal part of my life where I have to make a choice. Do I live? Once I have a child, that choice is gone. I will not let my child wonder why their mother left them. But I can't do it. I can't live. Life and I just don't get along. My husband doesn't know, but I will kill myself. Soon. Before we conceive.

#11601
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Dec 17, 2016 11:48 PM - Life - by Binny (Blog)

 

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I actually hate my two "best friends". Nobody knows and i'm just looking for any opportunity to get themout ofmylife

#11597
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Dec 19, 2016 12:11 AM - Life - by Bee (Blog)

 

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As much I wanted to say about my life..., I wish I never cheated, lied, or /and become a person for lustful attention. Most of my friends are few years under me, and never older. It disturbs me that The more I delve deeper for a younger life, the darker my heart will become for these young deisres.

I am not under any influence, mental issue, and/ or truamatized. I am more over alone in life, saddened, weaken, no one to talk or confess too. Even my local shelters, professional consultists are of any help.

Darker and darker, yet even empty. I long for the need for help, friendship and love.

I am slowly getting crippling anxiety, depression, depriving of health, and sleep. I wish to ask for help, but do I turn when I did everthing twice and nothing turns to show up positive results?

I wish to speak to anyone... make a friend, a lover, a friend to count on. A person to understand and motivate me....

But, yet it ends there... I only hope I live the next few weeks... Pray for me.

#11591
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Dec 9, 2016 08:42 PM - Life - by A lonely memory. ()

 

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Everything feels numb, the excitement dies out, I should continue moving on to others things, farewell to bad influences and habits. Hello, goals and plans, I'll get you done this time.

#11585
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Dec 19, 2016 12:11 AM - Life - by Practical Joker ()

 

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