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When I need the most help it is never there for me. I have fallen too many times and I am tired of getting back up and fighting for myself. Everybody enjoys putting me down and when I am at my peak of my depression at times my friends never know until after the fact and after I have done damage. All of my friends have their own problems and I don't like to worry people with my problems if I don't have to. It sucks that I am one of those people who can say that I am used to the pain by now. My first love has never loved me. Everybody I seem to really like doesn't even care about me. I am trying to get out of my long distance relationship but my plans have failed on me. People say that they want to help me but they don't understand me. I am not a normal person. I am far from that. I have learned to put on a mask for everywhere I go even if I don't want to. My life is a mess my mom leads to most of my depression. If I get the help I don't want it. My life is being destroyed my myself.

#10813
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Feb 5, 2016 09:19 PM - Miscellaneous - by #2222 (Blog)

 

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I'm 13, I'm depressed, I cut my thighs, I go to therapy. I say everything is fine. I look at the pills every night. I grasp my pencil sharpener blades and slash my thighs. They are so attractive, the cuts, it looks sexy, attractive, beautiful.
My boyfriend of 6 months is 20. I love him with all my heart. We have phone sex. He is all i'm living for he tells me nice things. He cries over me doing horrible things to myself, he hates that i do this, he tells me I need help, I don't need help. All I need is to be in your arms. I wont be alive in two years. Visit before then okay?

#10777
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Feb 5, 2016 09:17 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (Blog)

 

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i cant get up this time ...usually when i fall i get back up and fight but not this time its like i fell down a deep dark whole and every last bit of energy was sucked out of me I'm slowly dying and no matter how hard i try i just am too tired... everyday is a struggle to get out of bed and go to school only to get stared at by older kids and listening to my only friend talk... to never be able to answer the teacher when she asks a question even though i know the answer... to go back home and just lie in bed thinking about bullies...forgetting about homework and panicking about it all night and not being able to do it... it feels like something heavy is holding me back and its too strong... flashbacks about my stupidity keep running across my head and i cant stop them, i hit myself on the head multiple times in hope they stop but all i can think of is a knife stabbing me over and over and i cant stop it

#10761
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May 19, 2467 02:53 PM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous (Blog)

 

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I'm drowning in depression and the only thing keeping me alive is that I can't bear to break my mother's heart aftef she lost my father.

#10631
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Jan 19, 2016 09:46 AM - Miscellaneous - by Drowning (Blog)

 

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People must have thought that my life is perfect. I showed people on social media what a fine life I had. with a loving and caring boyfriend and a perfect career, living abroad. But it's just the surface. First of all, yes I had been granted working abroad with a suffice salary, but I have a lot of debt. credit cards, friends, I owe so much money. Second, I had been in 9 yrs relationship. Yes, he is very wonderful for a person but he didn't have future. he's unemployed. And I don't feel that I am connected with him because we're so much the opposite in little things. And the worst of all, my parents are the worst, my father is a pathological liar. I really wish that God will just take me.

#10608
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Jan 14, 2016 10:24 PM - Miscellaneous - by glitterati (Blog)

 

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i have never had good friends in my whole life. i want to enjoy talking and sharing things with friends. but all the friends i have had till now just want to see me fail. they feel satisfied and secure when something bad happens to me.

#10601
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Jan 14, 2016 10:24 PM - Miscellaneous - by anonymous321 ()

 

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I am 30 and i am married. i am searching for jobs but not having much luck with it.
my parents got retired from their jobs recently. they feel bored sitting at home.
so they are convincing me to stop searching for jobs and become a stay at home mom. they want me to start a family.
they are not suggesting me. they are demanding me to stop my job search and settle down and have kids.
I am a weak and cowardly person and cant stand up for myself. i really want to have a job and then start a family.
but i am always looking for my parents approval in everything. since they dont approve me having a job i am losing motivation.
i dont want to end up losing my dream and having broken dreams. my brain tells me to do what is good for me but my heart is such a people pleaser it wants to please my parents right now. :(

#10600
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Jan 14, 2016 10:24 PM - Miscellaneous - by anonymous321 ()

 

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I was sexually harassed by my family friend. It feels so suffocating keeping it to myself. I don't know what else to do. It's been weeks but that day still haunts me. He thinks I was unaware of him touching me while I was sleeping but I felt it. I feel so scared in my own home whenever he comes over. I don't know. Why doesn't he leave me alone? In peace? I don't want to tell my dad or sisters because he trusts them so much but I know better. I know better than to trust anyone. I think he ruined my view of everyone. But I want to let someone know about it. My secret.

#10560
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Jan 8, 2016 05:16 PM - Miscellaneous - by Chib (Blog)

 

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My Secret: I hate my life.I have great friends and okay school life but that's it. I've been abused.Even though I have friends I have people that just hate my guts and aren't afraid to tell me.Death won't take me.I say that because every life-death situation I come across I always live never die. I'm more then head over heels with my best friend but it could never happen she's the only person that knows how many times I have tried to kill my self.Still she and no one else can see through my mask that I'm sad they think I'm the quiet, shy,outgoing, great listening, person they don't see that I'm constantly plagued with suicidal thoughts not even my own parents can tell.I want to tell everyone my thoughts but there never there to listen even my therapist.Life has no meaning for me and I don't want to suffer anymore but I don't want anyone else too.if I actually die I will burden everyone I know but If I don't then I will have to suffer further.Why can't I disappear and not have to live?

#10538
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Jan 5, 2016 09:45 PM - Miscellaneous - by ? (Blog)

 

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I was bullied 7-8th grade. My mom would call the school all the time to report it. The secret here is that it never made me upset or scared. It angered me. I got back at those assholes by calling them to the office and getting them in trouble. And I was a good little actress, too. :)

#10535
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Jan 5, 2016 09:45 PM - Miscellaneous - by Drea (Blog)

 

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